Monday, August 06, 2012

Send in the clowns... Don't bother they're here!

So, those of you that read this blog know that I have a new gig walking around Home Depot on behalf of the water treatment people. As you may recall, the same day they called, I got a hinky "job offer" as well. This was an "Office assistant" job, that I can work out of my home--basically running this important big-shot's schedule and visiting orphanages and foster homes on his behalf, bestowing gifts to the needy waifs and urchins. This was to pay me $700 per week. Naturally, it sounded too good to be true; especially after the guy offered me the job after the first email! No interview necessary! (Gotta love Craigslist!) I didn't hear from the guy in a few days, and--lo and behold--today, he texted me to tell me my first "task" as his "employee" was to receive a "check" and go "buy toys for orphans". I'm to deposit the check into my account and keep $150 of it for myself! Yay!  What an awesome "job"! Anyway, after an exchange of texts in which he was trying to get my banking information (I gave him bogus info), I went along with it, explaining to this clown how excited I was to be working with kids. I said that several times, just to see if this prick has a shred of self-decency. Obviously, he does not, or he wouldn't scam people for a living, but I digress. I punctuated every sentence with, "The kids need us" and "helping the kids", both to remind the guy he's a douche, and to let him mistakenly think I'm some kind of naif. Too much fun. So, tomorrow, some kind of check should arrive. I'll probably just "return to sender--address unknown"
So, anyway, your ol' pal Shoehead can't seem to catch a break without some clown rolling up and trying to steal my cookies! Well, after this "orphan check cashing" things is done, I have an offer from a Nigerian businessman to go into business with him. He wires me some money, and all I have to do is...

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