Life without water…

Ok, now this really sucks. Last week, I discovered that a small leak from the outside water pipe had gone from a mild seeping to a full-blown spraying. It was soaking my back porch and flowing down under the house into the crawl-space. The worst part about it, is that there’s a cut off valve right there, and I could shut the water on and off as I need to, but the cracked pipe is—of course—below the valve. Naturally!
Since I’ve been working a lot of hours, and the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead was on another of her trips, I had no time to try and fix it. We had the City shut off the water. So all week, I’ve been showering at my gym, and using gallon bottled water to survive. It’s like being on a camping trip in your own home! What fun! Anyway, I’m so over it, and today I’m gonna do my best Bob Vila impression, and try to fix the pipe! Yay!
Wish me luck...

I'm not depressed...

One of my awesome readers thought my last post sounded kinda depressing. Actually, I'm really doing OK. I think I was in a bad mood when I last blogged. That should be my new rule: Don't blog in a crappy mood! Otherwise, everything's cool. It was a nice day in Ventura yesterday, and Thanksgiving was a blast! I demonstrated my new IRIS 3000 video phone for my friends, and it was amazing. This phone technology is gonna be the bomb! I think it'll be one of the hottest items in 2009. I'm still stoked about ACN, and all the cool things that company's doing. The convention in Anaheim is gonna be amazing!
So nobody start slipping Prozac™ into my milkshakes just yet, OK?

Thanksgiving... wowzy-wowzy woo woo!

OK, I'm not a whole lot thankful this year. But let's see... Things could be worse, and they will be. I'm thankful for the movie "The Warriors". That movie always amuses me. I'm thankful for really good coffee. Always. I'm thankful I still have all my organs and my major appendages. (And some minor ones, too!) I'm thankful for my Italian Greyhound, Bocce Ball. I'm thankful for my home business ACN , which is just starting to take off, and is my ticket out of the doldrums. I'm thankful I still have both parents, and all my siblings and 2 cool nephews.
OK, time to catch my traditional Thanksgiving's eve buzz, and get ready for turkey day!!!
Yay!!!

OK, I'm back!

So I got over the whole election thing. Thank God at least we're (for the moment) not bombarded with all those crappy political messages.
Life in Firebaugh is still pretty much the same. Working in a women's prison is about as fun as it sounds. Life goes on, at least for the moment. Yee-HA!!!
Time for some New England clam chowder! Mmmmmmmm...

Way to go, Republicans....

Since my party, the Libertarian Party, has about the political effectiveness as a chess club, I've been counting on you Republicans to stave off the ravenous encroachments of the Democrat party. And you continue to let me down, time and time again! I knew our collective goose was cooked when you nominated that crusty RINO John McCain. While I appreciate your military service, Johnny, and the sacrifice you endured in the Hanoi Hilton, HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU LOSE TO THAT UNABASHED MARXIST REDISTRIBUTIONIST TURD OBAMA??? WHO'S ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING IN HIS WHOLE CAREER EXCEPT EXTORTING MONEY THROUGH A.C.O.R.N., HANGS OUT WITH RACISTS, ANTI-AMERICAN RADICALS AND TERRORISTS, AS WELL AS CHICAGO GANGSTERS??? WHO GOT SO CONFIDENT AGAINST YOUR TEPID CAMPAIGN THAT HE BARELY EVEN BOTHERED TO MASK HIS SOCIALIST INTENTIONS TOWARD THE END OF HIS CAMPAIGN??? ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME???
JEEZ!!!

I HATE POLITICS!!!

What can I say? I really don't like any of the candidates. I can't stand politics, and yet this stupid election is getting crammed down our throats every minute of every day. Obama is so confident he's already won, that he's beginning to speak his mind; throwing out his socialistic plans to re-make our country in his own Marxist image. McCain, true to form fails to capitalize on Obama's redistributionist rhetoric, and plods along doing his best to lose to probably the most beatable presidential candidate ever fielded. I just feel like whichever of these schmucks wins, we all still lose.
Where can I go and hide out, unbothered for the next ten years or so?

In Exile...

Since mid-may, when our cable got cut off, and my internet access is at the mercy of the public library, and/or Kinko's, my blogging has definitely suffered. I feel like one of those governments-in-exile, trying to make my voice heard undire limited circumstances. Last week, I'd written a tribute blog about Paul Newman, and the servers at the library wouldn't let me log in to Blogger. I still have the blog entry on my flash drive, so I'll post it still; probably next week. I'm close to getting caught up and re-starting my cable and internet in Casa Shoehead. I can't wait! til then, I'm learning how to make wooden toy arrows, to cash in on some of that BULLSHIT bailout plan, that takes 700 BILLION dollars from some Americans, and gives it to others. Don't get me started. As our freedoms get flushed down the cosmic shitter every day, I'm trying to chart a new course for my life. Wish me luck...

Firebaugh looks the same...

So I just returned from Miami last night, and I'm looking at my small town, and realizing--"WOW, it's like night and day!" From crazy partying Miami to this tiny town is quite a culture shock. If Miami wasn't so damn humid, I'd move there tomorrow. The humidity turned me into a sweaty dripping mess every single day. It was embarassing! I was on the "Co-ed Confidential 3" set, surrounded by beautiful ladies, on both cast and crew, and I was a dripping mess! Ouch!
I flew out of Miami, with a stopover in Charlotte. There was just enough time for me to have a Bojangles biscuit. Yummy! I haven't had one since I lived in Richmond back in the 90's! I landed in LAX, and didn't even have to wait 5 minutes for the Van Nuys Flyaway shuttle. Then, from Van Nuys, it was up the 405 to the 5, and three hours later I'm in Firebaugh. It seems surreal, after two weeks in Miami, somehow Firebaugh seems both different, and yet still the same. There are a couple of palm trees around here, but still... Maybe if they opened a good Cuban restaurant, and I could find a great mojito, that'd make some kind of difference!

Back to Co-ed Confidential...

So for the past week and a half I've been down in Miami shooting season 3 of "Co-ed Confidential". I heard our show was popular, but I didn't realize exactly how popular it was. Apparently, it's the #1 rated show on Cinemax! Yee--HAW! It's great to see my buddy Kevin Patrick, and the ever-cute and sexy Michelle Maylene, as well as Bradley Joseph and a whole new set of faces.
So it's 9am here in Miami, and we have today and tomorrow to shoot. The crew is then going back to L.A. to finish up, but I'm actually going to return to my regular gig in the women's prison. Miami sure was fun though! I'll post up some pics later, for all you "Co-ed" fans!
~Ciao!

The Catfather?

This morning, the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead woke up to a scene reminiscent of The Godfather’s hapless movie producer Woltz waking up with the head of his prized Arabian horse Khartoum’s bloody severed head nestled in his bed. As she was waking up, she noticed a strange little lumpy thing underneath her. As she pulled back the blankets, there was revealed… a dead mouse! Flattened, and staining the sheets with its life blood and other vital fluids, the small rodent was apparently a gift offered in tribute by one of our ever-increasing number of cats that have taken up residence at Casa Shoehead.
The feline presence in my domicile began with Starva, the matriarch of the clan. She enjoyed a peaceful and solitary existence for many years, until June, 2006 and the arrival of Missy Cleopatra. Missy was in a cage at our vet’s office for about two days with an “adopt me’ sign on the outside of the cage. The story on the sign told how she was found by one of the vet’s staff in a pillowcase in an apartment dumpster! She was such a cute little black furball, just climbing and playing around in her cage, we just had to take her home with us. At first, there was friction between Starva, and the young upstart Missy, but soon things were worked out into a sort of détente. About a year later, in the summer of 2007, a couple of alley cats started coming around our outside staircase crying for food. One of them had an injured tail, and he was the most affectionate of the alley cats. Soon, he showed up daily and I made sure he got a good meal, and sometimes some milk! When the decision was made to move out of Oxnard in November 2007, Mrs. Shoehead and I felt that we just couldn’t leave “Cat-tail” (as he was now called), behind to take his chances with the increasingly dangerous neighborhood. Yippee! Cat #3! There was still plenty of room at the new house, as well as a spacious yard so that all three cats (plus two dogs) could co-habitate, although to Starva’s chagrin.
A few short weeks later, at a Christmas trip to her auntie’s house, the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead noticed another little kitten, a grey tiger-striped cat, hanging around the front doorstep, unheeded and un-cared for. Naturally, as animal lovers, we felt obligated to take this on in, too. We kept him in the same room as Cat-tail, segregated from the other cats until they could all get acclimated to one another. Buster, as the new addition came to be called, and Cat-tail got along great. The older, seasoned alley cat, took the young cat under his protection, almost like a little brother. He still to this day hangs out with Buster and protects him from the dogs. Our first attempt at integrating the newer boy cats to the established girl cats resulted in buster scampering under the house, and deciding to take up permanent residence there. He comes out from his hole every morning at seven am and every night around 10 pm for his feeding, under the watchful eye of his big brother, Cat-tail.
This was pretty much how it went on through most of 2008, but one day in mid-August, I went out to feed Buster, and there was a tan tiger-striped cat, even smaller than Buster! Crying, hungry and scared, I fed him—wondering if he was here to stay, or just passing through. (Many neighborhood cats jump over our fence and visit Casa Shoehead. We must be a hot-spot in the cat circuit!) As he basically never left, and hung around our back porch for the next couple of days, we decided to take him in and clean him up a little bit. He was covered with fleas, and had ear-mites, so we took care of that, and we helped him to get nourished, too. He’s recovering nicely, and as it turns out he’s got a great personality—very playful and loving. Our Italian Greyhound, Bocce, took an instant like to him. Bocce kisses him and tries to play with him as often as he can, and the kitten’s not scared in the least. Last week, Mrs. Shoehead named him Vanilla Bean, or Beanie for short. So, cat #5 has arrived!
So, in regards to this morning’s incident with the poor little mouse, we’re trying to determine which cat was the culprit. Was it an offer of tribute from Missy Cleopatra, who’s trying to retain her position with her human overlords as #2 cat in the household? Or was it Cat-tail, trying to exert his influence with the humans and move up in household rank? A long-shot says it was Starva, trying to prove she’s still a viable force in the cat organization. Unlikely, but still an option. Ruled out are Buster, who almost never comes in the house any more, and Bean, who’s still under quarantine in what’s now the “cat room”. If the cats could talk, it would make the investigation much easier, but as it is, it may never be solved. Meanwhile Mrs. Shoehead is still highly freaked out.

Cinematic splendor, right here in my own home!

The lovely Mrs. Shoehead and I, still enjoying the lack of cable TV in our lives, have been on a DVD-watching frenzy. Yesterday’s viewings—“Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns”, and “Little Children”. We found “Browns” amusing, in the typical Tyler Perry vein. He re-uses some of his elements in several of his offerings, which is fine—he’s trying to deliver a message as well as entertain. We were treated to the same characters, the struggling single mom, the deadbeat dad, the promising basketball player son that gets hospitalized by a drug deal shooting, etc. As Tyler’s films are always funny, heartwarming, and full of good values, the House of Shoehead was pleased and entertained. As such, I hereby promise, that I will never be a deadbeat dad, on the off chance my son will grow up to be a 16-year old NBA first draft pick. Amen.

“Little Children” was a different story. The DVD came in on our Netflix and we both looked at each other and wondered “Who added this one to the queue?” Then I realized that it was I who added this flick, noticing that this was the movie that featured the cinematic return of Jackie Earle Haley (No, not Haley Joel Osment). For you 40-something pop culture geeks, he was “Kelly Leak” in the monumental “Bad News Bears” movie from 1976. So I’m the culprit for wasting over two hours of mine and the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead’s lives, which we’ll never get back. First off, the movie was long, and painfully slow. You could have cut the movie in half, and still gotten the “story”. Kate Winslet played Sarah, a self-absorbed do-nothing housewife, who starts an affair with Brad, played by some guy, who’s a delusional do-nothing househusband. These two idiots actually had the temerity to include their toddler children in their infidelities, letting them play together while they got “busy”! A side story to these escapades is Jackie Earle Haley as a released sex-offender in the neighborhood, and a disgraced ex-cop (played by some other guy) who’s obsessed with tormenting him and his mom. Actually, in the whole film, the perv and his mom are the only characters I felt any sympathy or pathos for. Especially the mom, who really didn’t ask for any of this nightmare. She’s harassed to a breaking point and finally dispatched when the ex-cop knocks her to the ground, and she goes into cardiac arrest. Then, instead of the revenge ending I was craving, (I envisioned a pre-dug grave up in Maine for the ex-cop) we get a redemption in ex-cop Larry when he drives the self-castrated perv to the emergency room. Throughout the film, it was suggested the perv be castrated, so it was a self-fulfillment. Meanwhile, our cheating couple decided to stay in their marriages after all. Aaaah, all is right with the world. We did get to see Kate Winslets boob, (nipple and all!) and she did have some sexy blue toenail polish, which I like, but otherwise, I wish I could somehow get those two hours back…

They all Suck '08

I really do my best not to make this a political blog, because personally I can’t stand politics or politicians, but it really disappoints me that the next president, whether it’s the abominable Obama, or the ever-ambitious RINO McCain, will be a senator. A senator is not a leadership position. It’s a committee, deal-making, consensus-seeking position. I always believe that a governor is the logical choice for a U.S. president, having proven his (or her) executive acumen running a state government for a term or two. If an dark-horse outsider comes along, I think a CEO might be a better choice than a senator. So no matter who wins the general election in November, it’s sure to be a disappointment. There’s something particularly sleazy and disgusting about the U.S. senate.

I don’t believe in my lifetime I’ll see a Libertarian president. While that does reflect my personal belief system, I’m afraid I’ll have to rely on the Republicans to fend off the ravenous encroachments of the Democrat party. Which they almost religiously fail to do. That’s why the Republicans constantly piss me off as well. My campaign slogan is “THEY ALL SUCK ‘08”

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Get ready for the Mexico expansion! Click here for details!

Hey there readers!

I've been away, and lost my internet connection, got a job then got laid off a month later-- It's been a crazy couple of months. SO-- any of my fans out there miss me? I thought so!
While I was away, we lost George Carlin, Bernie Mac, Isaac Hayes, and a dear friend of mine, my old agent in Richmond VA, Liz Marks. The news of Liz's death came to me as a total shock. She was very helpful to me when I started acting professionally in 1991; I considered her a mentor and a friend. So I wanted to acknowledge these fine folks whom we lost in the last 2 months, and send a cosmic thank you to them for helping to brighten our lives.

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Big news-- our company is expanding into Mexico by the end of the year. It's a great opportunity to build a huge organization, with a potential customer base of a million+
Take a look and see...

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Well, that's all for now, but I'm going to make an effort to publish at least three times a week. I miss my blog, and I miss my readers (which number like ten or so now!)
Be cool...

What a difference 27 years makes!

2nd New York Regiment, Yorktown VA, October 1981

Mark Edrys and Charles J. Nohai, Yorktown 1981

Mark Edrys and Charles J. Nohai, Los Angeles March 2008

Nice little heatwave here in Firebaugh...

Now I see why they call this place Firebaugh. It's like, 110° in the shade... too hot for outdoor exercise, so I have to use my alternative fat loss plan. Otherwise, things have been going pretty good with the program. Exercising, running, and doing some isometrics and push-ups seems to be doing the trick. My new running program is an hour-long run, four times per week. Since my 10K is about an hour, I'm actually running 24.8 miles per week. I do ab-work Monday, Wednesday and Friday, so we'll see how the plan goes. I'll weigh in every Friday, so right now I'm at: 226 lbs. My gol is to be a nice, ripped 185 lbs. So here we go!
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My prediction: Sayonara Syesha!

She's cute, sexy and has a very nice voice, but I predict after last night's all-around mediocre American Idol show, that the Sarasota sweetie is gonna say "see-ya". Syesha Mercado delivered last night's audience three utterly forgettable performances-- the predictable Alicia Keyes "If I Don't Have You" predictably chosen by the predictable judge Randy Jackson; a cabaret performance of Peggy Lee's "Fever" complete with prop chair; and, ummm... some other song. (Was it the penguin song from "Happy Feet"? I think so...) *Sigh* And I like her, too. She just never really defined herself as to what kind singer she is. "Generic Pop Singer" seems to be what she's shooting for. I guess that's not necessarily a death-knell in Idol-World. Jordin Sparks won last year, and she didn't really have any kind of musical style to lay claim to. But Syeha's lack of gravitas (YES! I used a political word!) in last night's performances, not to mention the judges outright candor (even Paula!) in basically telling her she's done, suggests I write a pre-post-mortem on Ms. Mercado.
That presumptively leaves the two Davids-- guitar-playing rocker Cook, and dreadful balladeer Achuleta to vie it out for the final victory. My money's on Mr. Cook for a number of reasons, not sucking being the top reason, but we'll have to see how it plays out. Archie's somnambulant croonings do seem to rank high amongst Idol voters (at least female, under the age of fifteen). As Simon Cowell stated several weeks ago, if this is still a talent competition, and not a popularity contest, David Cook's got it hands down.
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Back to Busking...

It took no Einstein, or crystal ball to predict who'd get the footprint-on-the-ass on this week's Idol. Dreadful, dreadlocked Jason Castro-- who relied on sheer cuteness to get him this far, got bumped after crapping out a version of the Bob Marley classic "I Shot the Sheriff", then proceeded to mangle Bob Dylan's "Mr. Tambourine Man". Bo Bice, my personal pick for season 4's Idol, summed it up pretty well when he commented on the decision to let this season's contestants play their instruments--it's OK to an extent, but some performers hide behind it. Right on the money, Bo... Jason C was a one-trick pony, and basically gave us the same performance every week. Essentially displaying none of the versatility that is required of all Idol aspirants, Jason brought his subway busking-style performances to the Idol stage relentlessly until I think even he himself couldn't believe he'd lasted that long.
As a final 10 contestant, he's earned himself a place on the American Idol tour, so concert-goers will be treated to more of his repetitive musical musings. I'm not sure how many songs they allow these performers to solo on, but I think a better venue for Jason would be on the downtown platform of the 1/9 trains in Times Square. It would be perfect--these trains go right down to Greenwich Village! Utterly appropriate, and a great audience for Mr. Castro.
OK, so that's settled... now let's focus our efforts on that other one-trick-pony, David Archuletta. He sings just like he talks--boring, yawning; always schmaltzy ballads. Another crappy performer propped up by the pubescent-girl vote. Syesha's very sexy, and I can see her in an acting career, probably musicals and musical theater. I even wouldn't be too disappointed if she won the whole Idol pie. But I think the deserving winner this year is David Cook. He's talented, versatile, and interprets his cover tunes in a very creative and personal way. He also displays his rock-n-roll roots, without being a complete sell-out (as much as a show like this will allow). OK, there's only two more weeks of Idol, and this season really did prove to be a snore. Let's hope that next season will give us a little something more. And, keep the instruments at home, kids. I don't really think it worked, David Cook aside. Let's get another Melinda Doolittle onstage next season. She was the best, and most talented performer that ever set foot on the American Idol stage.

Yay! Finally getting my dogs back...

After two weeks, I'm getting my two dogs back from boarding at my in-laws. We had to seperate them, because Cowgirl is well-behaved, and Bocce is, um... not. I'm leaving in about 15 minutes and driving first to San Francisco to get Bocce, then Modesto to retrieve Cowgirl. I'm so excited...

There's jut an emptiness without those two little guys.

Mourning Brooke White (But I saw it comin' a mile away!)

I could feel it, I knew it, I watched it unfold before me--and from the look on her face, I could tell that Brooke White felt the exact same way I did. As I watched the elimination of perhaps the purest, and absolute sweetest of any Idol contestant ever, I couldn't help but say to myself, "I can see where this is going..."
The sensitive, yet plucky Miss White got clipped after singing "I Am... I Said" on Neil Diamond week, after seemingly weeks of slowly coming unravelled. I was pulling for her from early on, especially after my main man Chikezie got whacked, but recent performances of hers showed signs of slippage, which is often fatal to an aspiring Idol. I witnessed not one, but two false starts (once on her own with a piano, and once with a full orchestra behind her!); and saw her almost lose it during her piano-playing performance of Mariah Carey's "Hero"; barely stumbling through the number. Alas, the voting public had finally stopped dialing her number.
I really did like this contestant, and it was with no amount of my usual American Idol schadenfreude did I feel for the 24 year-old nanny from Mesa, Arizona. She was an absolute sweetheart, and a very good musician; playing both piano and guitar for several numbers. She has an great voice--somewhat country, with a reminiscence of Carly Simon. She's also stunningly beautiful. Tall, blonde, and with the perfect balance of sexiness and pure innocence; with just a touch of almost goofiness thrown in to round out the mix. Where many aspiring Idols fall because they don't connect with the audience despite an above-average singing voice, I really believe Brooke did connect with the audience--which kept her afloat despite weeks of shaky performances. Sadly, in the end, her nerves just got the best of her.

Happy Birthday, Aunt Harriet!

Harriet Lloyd Ross
May 2 1896- August 1994

Today, my little auntie Harriet, Hyatt as we all knew her as, would have been 112! It's amazing to think that she saw in her lifetime everything from the Wright Brothers' first flight, all the way to the space shuttle missions.
Our dear Hyatt was quite an interesting woman. she was rather eccentric, but to her own right she was very successful in a financial company on Wall Street. She was an office manager which, sadly, was about as high as a woman could go in those days. Her boss was a man named Mr. Horner. Hyatt was very intelligent, and quite a conversationalist. And she'd be very upset with me if I didn't mention that she was a Methodist! We all miss her a lot...
Happy Birthday, Hyatt!