A quick Monday wrap-up...

I went on a home repair call with my buddy Bret, a good Christian brother and crazy Cajun from my church. I learned a lot from paying attention to the interplay between the subcontractor (Bret & me) and the contractor (another dude from the church). First thing I learned: Bring a hat. Holy cow, the sun is bright and blazing. Second thing: Inspect the job before you accept the bid. Some drunk flunky looked at the job and measured the house all wrong, and we got there and there was a lot more work than originally projected. We had to renegotiate the price of the job.  Third thing: get plenty of sleep. I thought I was gonna fall off the scaffold. Yikes.
Trying to decide if I'm going back to the walk-around-Home-Depot job. A new job opened up, still walking around Home Depot, but less stressful, and more of a helpful position, not a pestering the customer gig. (I really need to finish the screenplays and escape this realm, anyway.)
Until next time, keep your eyes on the road and your hands upon the whee-ull...

I was worthless today...

OK, you know when you reach that point where you've said "screw it", and lost all initiative? I think I reached it today. Much like Peter in Office Space (and no hypnosis necessary!), I came to the realization that I just don't care. I did a perfunctory attempt at the job, so it can be said that I actually did try to try, but the "screw it" motif permeated the atmosphere like a low-hanging fog bank. I'm not sure if all the refusals I received were a result, or if the people were planning to shoot me down anyway, but it was a fruitless effort today. Tomorrow, I travel to Dripping Springs, to ply my trade there. It's about an hour away. Let's see how that turns out. Sometimes when I say "screw it", doors open and magical success occurs. Other times, I say "screw it", and it gets screwed. I do place it in the hands of The Almighty and let the chips fall where they may.
I do hate to let apathy be a driving force in my life, and I question the notion that apathy is a driving force at all. Who's ever driven by apathy? Perhaps it's more of a "cruise control", but even on cruise control, the driver still has to steer, and avoid other drivers and sundry road hazards. But, note that I'm not apathetic about my life and my goals; merely apathetic about this particular job. I think I'll look for something else; as I stated before, I might have to carry plates. As I absolutely loathe waiting tables, I have to pick the least sucky (in my mind) option. I rule out Denny's and IHOP. I also don't think I can handle the "awesomely excellent" chain tavern genre, like Chili's and Applebee's. Someplace I can wear my own clothes and not feel like a total dweeb. There should be a few of these kinda "hipster-type" places; this being Austin, after all.  This chapter of The Shoehead Chronicles sure is fraught with uncertainty. Meanwhile, I'm practicing saying "More iced tea, sir?" without having a complete meltdown...

Thirsty Thursday...

I'm still thirsty, in fact, because I didn't drink tonight.  I know what you're saying--"Shooey, no Bud Light Cheladas tonight?" To which I will respond, "Why, no, good friend. I had none of that delicious elixir of beer, tomato, and clam on this fine evening. But I most certainly will tomorrow!"  Today was a decent day. I'm staying on track with my previously-stated goals. I went to my weekly sales meeting today, and it reinforced that I really do suck at that walk-around-Home-Depot job. It's not so much the walking-around-Home-Depot part that I suck at; I'm actually quite good at walking around Home Depot. It's the getting-people-to-sign-up-for-shit-they-don't-really-want part that I really suck at. I'm sure that I'm not nearly aggressive enough, but I don't like to be bothered by sales pitches at Home Depot (or anywhere, really) and I'm quite certain that neither do most people. It's like, I'm live spam.  *sigh* I guess I'll have to just ratchet up my obnoxiousness, and just throw myself at everyone I see. Ugh.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ But in a related Shoehead story--hanging around Home Depot so much has been giving me great ideas for Camp Shoehead 2.0. I'm really stoked to do this, It feels good. I know my dogs will love it! I'm planning the layout of the bathroom, kitchen, all the good stuff! It's gonna ROCK!!! I'm leaning toward New Mexico, an hour's radius from Las Cruces. The mountains near Ruidoso would be pretty sweet. Or maybe the desert between Deming and Silver City. I would set up a wind turbine and solar panels and never pay a power bill again!
So, as a Thursday wrap-up, I'm taking the advice of the Most Interesting Man in the World, and I'm staying thirsty, my friends. Tomorrow, I'll have two BL Cheladas for Fubar Friday!

Hope floats...

I'm not even sure why I posted that title, but let's see if I can work in. My blogging has been sucking of late, and I apologize. I feel like anyone who takes the time to read my blog, I owe them something; and something not-too-short of brilliance. Luckily, brilliance is subjective, and if I declare a piece brilliant, then by golly, brilliant it is! Unless it really sucks. But, no matter. Hope floats. So, as you see how I brilliantly carve a blog out of nothing--this week, I am filled with hope. That's right, the floating kind. Last week, I was really in a foul demeanor. Like, almost a Sylvia Plath-level funk. All hope seemed to be gone, and your ol' pal Shooey's usually optimistic manner was as scarce as a telephone booth. Luckily, I got a really good message from The Almighty this past Sunday, and when I taught the Sunday school kids, the lesson was so applicable to my life.  It lifted my head out of Sylvia Plath's oven and back to the optimistic world of floating hope.  I picked up a little freelance work, I'm making headway on my screenplays and writing projects, and I'm fully committed to my "Little Cabin in the Woods" plan. (Either referred to as 'Camp Shoehead 2.0', or 'Uncle Shooey's Cabin'. Not sure which I like better. Maybe both.)  My job is crazy. Prowling the aisles of Home Depot trying to get people to have a salesman--I mean, water technician to come to their house.  Luckily, this is a stop-gap job. Not at all a career move. I do like the company I work for, and the people are very nice.  So, it could be better, but it could be a lot worse. And just for laughs, if you see me lurking the Home Depot aisles looking for prey, chances are I'll look something like this:

Have a great week, my good and faithful readers! Be well, and don't eat the brown acid!

My latest folly (or, my newest obsession, as it may be...)

I have been lamenting recently about the fact that I'm 46, and still renting (at a cheesy apartment complex, no less!) and I've never own a piece of real estate in my life. We came close, with the place in Firebaugh CA, but the Lovely Mrs Shoehead decided to retire at age 33, and our deal fell through. Plus, now I'm financially way behind the 8-ball. But, I have a few tricks up my sleeve. I've been looking at options for starter homes, and getting very creative. I've always contemplated living off the grid, or quasi-off the grid. Getting some land dirt cheap, and putting a small house on it. Just me, and the dogs--with a fenced-in little yard to protect them from the coyotes. Then, it struck me yesterday. I was sent to a Home Depot way on the far end of town, and I rolled into this alien parking lot, and there it was. Or, they were. Whichever. The display models of TUFF-SHED cabins! They even had second floors, like lofts! Very cheap, too! There was a "Ranch" style, and a "Barn" style. They were everything I need to set up the new and improved camp Shoehead! Camp Shoehead 2.0!!!
I'm already doing my research, and looking for the cheap land. Somewhere a little higher elevation, and near an interstate, or at least a major highway. And no more than an hour outside a fairly big town. Since I lived and put some roots down in Las Cruces, I've been looking in Ruidoso, and Cloudcroft; as well as Truth or Consequences and outside Silver City. There are good land deals to be had, with water and electricity.  I think I can do this for under $100K, I'm thinking possibly under $75K! I also started looking into homesteading websites. Living off the grid will be a challenge, but I think with the resources available, I can pull it off. There's a lot of information and helpful hints from people that are doing just that. I believe also, as society gets more out of control, I think a lot of people will be doing this kind of thing.

These are the two I looked at  in the Slaughter Ave Home Depot parking lot.

This is the Ranch, for only $21,000!    

This one is really cool, the Barn, for only $41,000!

 

So, anyway, that's my latest great scheme. It's all coming together!

Send in the clowns... Don't bother they're here!

So, those of you that read this blog know that I have a new gig walking around Home Depot on behalf of the water treatment people. As you may recall, the same day they called, I got a hinky "job offer" as well. This was an "Office assistant" job, that I can work out of my home--basically running this important big-shot's schedule and visiting orphanages and foster homes on his behalf, bestowing gifts to the needy waifs and urchins. This was to pay me $700 per week. Naturally, it sounded too good to be true; especially after the guy offered me the job after the first email! No interview necessary! (Gotta love Craigslist!) I didn't hear from the guy in a few days, and--lo and behold--today, he texted me to tell me my first "task" as his "employee" was to receive a "check" and go "buy toys for orphans". I'm to deposit the check into my account and keep $150 of it for myself! Yay!  What an awesome "job"! Anyway, after an exchange of texts in which he was trying to get my banking information (I gave him bogus info), I went along with it, explaining to this clown how excited I was to be working with kids. I said that several times, just to see if this prick has a shred of self-decency. Obviously, he does not, or he wouldn't scam people for a living, but I digress. I punctuated every sentence with, "The kids need us" and "helping the kids", both to remind the guy he's a douche, and to let him mistakenly think I'm some kind of naif. Too much fun. So, tomorrow, some kind of check should arrive. I'll probably just "return to sender--address unknown"
So, anyway, your ol' pal Shoehead can't seem to catch a break without some clown rolling up and trying to steal my cookies! Well, after this "orphan check cashing" things is done, I have an offer from a Nigerian businessman to go into business with him. He wires me some money, and all I have to do is...

Back in the workforce...

I haven't blogged in a while. I'm really trying to stick to my "Blog Every Day" credo, but I've been preoccupied. First, the Chick-Fil-A flap, and its subsequent fallout burned me out to the point that I needed a mental detachment from my computer and the web itself. Yes, the WORLD WIDE WEB. Oy vey, the headaches!  Secondly, I'm once again trading my time for a little bit of money; this time it's water treatment equipment that I'm promoting. Something of a big deal here in Austin, where the water quality is rather hard and mineral-laden. So, I suit up, boot up, and strut around Home Depot inquiring do-it-yourself-ers and suburbanites about their water quality. Actually, the job is just enough to keep the Good Ship Shoehead afloat until I finish the vampire re-write, get the rap script into pre-production, and hit my next Herbalife level (the money level). So all-in-all, no complaints here. The other notable aspect of this job is the reinforcement of my long-held maxim that I hate jobs. I'm just not wired to be a time-card punching wage worker. I'm either a contract player (i.e. actor or film crew) or an entrepreneur.  Plain and simple. Some people are wired that way, some people have no choice, but it's simply not for me.  I don't look down on the employees of the world, but I'm not comfortable wearing that mantle. So now it's hammer time. I seriously need to get it in gear. No one's gonna do it for me; no one's gonna do it but me. Pass me a Bud Light Chelada, I'm goin' in!