I feel like I'm made outta gingerbread! (Uh huh, uh huh!)

Now that my obligatory year-long mourning period for Jacko is over, it's time to get to some serious blogging. To my awesome readers, I offer up an apology for my flaccid blogging for the last year, as I was mourning the gloved one, and dealing with my own peccadilloes and follies. (I just took a shot of Captain Morgan's spiced rum for creativity fuel. I know it's not even noon yet. There's just a little bit of Captain in me now.) Where was I... oh yeah, rum (Takes another nip) NOW... Let's blog!
If you've been following my last few blog posts, my barking dogs, and my babysitting of Cowgirl for the ailing Lovely Mrs Shoehead, and the sneaky treachery of my co-tenants have darkened my standing here at the new Melrose place. While I may or may not get voted off the island, it has become all too apparent that my new digs are probably a mismatch for me, my tattletale co-tenants, and my landlord. I've been planning a major relocation this year anyway--a much needed exile from the Golden State--and now I've decided to hasten the process.Just as I was dealing with all this, a producer friend called me and opened up some opportunities in another city, another state. I think the lesson here is, when a door closes, another door opens!
And it's Monday, too! I love Mondays. To me, it's a new week, a fresh start. In fact, the Muppets actually reflect how I feel today:

Decisions, decisions...

Last night's bruhaha only got worse when the landlord found out I was baby-sitting Cowgirl for my wife while she's in the hospital. I have a 2 dog max, and I understand that. I'm just too good-natured, and was trying to help my wife out, and since the landlord's out of town and took her dogs, I didn't think a couple days would be a big issue. I discussed it with the landlord's son, who is de facto house manager while the boss is on hiatus, but after the other tenants ratted me out, and Cowgirl's temporary presence was discovered, I'm on thin ice again!
I really don't enjoy being in Fresno (nothing against the raisin capitol, but it's just not me) my marriage is just about flatlined, I can't get any kind of work here, I have almost no friends here; it begs the question: WHY AM I HERE???
My family and close friends beckon me in Richmond VA, my brother's living the Life of Riley in the sun in San Diego, I have solid film connections with offers in three major cities--nice cities, too--WHAT AM I DOING IN FRESNO????
This current housing arrangement was temporary to begin with, and while the landlord's son assures me that I'm not on the chopping block, damage has been done. The circle of trust has been breached. Now, landlord doesn't trust me, and I don't trust the other tenants. I'm not comfortable in my domicile. When my dogs bark (they are dogs, of course) I get all tensed up. I don't think a situation like this can sustain itself very long. It's a shame, cuz the place is pretty nice! But my issues with the present situation are far larger than the apartment. What am I doing stuck in neutral like this? I'm not living, I'm breathing. YOU MUST HELP ME, OBI-WAN. YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE!!!

Trouble in Melrose Place ALREADY...???

OK, So I'm renting the east wing of the new place. The Landlord stays in the main house in the center. Right now she's on vacation for a month. The people that live in the west wing had a problem with my dog barking (they have 2 dogs too) and instead of coming over and talking to me, they called the landlord while she's on vacation, and she just called me now to harsh me out. 

WHO DOES THAT??? I'm a nice guy, I live here, and yet they wanna get me in trouble with the landlord?

Landlord suggested I go over there and apologize/grovel... Wha...??? Not after this, freakin' rats!

Any thoughts/feedback on that friends?

First night in the new digs...

This is my first night staying at my new place. It's pretty cool, and the people here are nice, but it just seems very strange to me to not be in my own home, with the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead (or at least her stuff) in casa...

Firebaugh chapter, 3 days left...

I've been packing and moving my stuff to the new place in Fresno, and closing out the last bit of my Firebaugh experience. The Lovely Mrs. Shoehead & I had a yard sale this part Saturday, and we're planning a final "everything-must-go" clearance sale. Wow...

Wrapping things up...

Closing out Firebaugh house is still a very bittersweet process for me. The Lovely Mrs. Shoehead has been here all week to help pack up our house, our things, our memories...
I've also been working at my new digs, doing some yardwork for my new landlord, Sgt. Becca USMC. So far so good, and she seems pretty cool. (She's read my blog, how can she not be cool!) All I can say is... swimming pool, and internet! YAY!!!
To paraphrase Billy Joel: "Say goodbye to Firebaugh, say goodbye my baaaaaaaaaby!"

It often surprises me who actually reads my blog...

My phone rang the other day with my landlord's caller ID on it. I picked it up, and he said,"This is the Nefarious Uncle Nemo!" I about fell on the floor laughing. Obviously that's not his real name, and for the sake of a good story, plus to keep his privacy I made up a name which I thought sounded like a cool comic-book bad guy name. It was hysterical! I told the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead (who I know does read my blog) about it, and she was amazed; she didn't even think he had internet!
It just goes to show you...

That's gonna be one expensive croissant!

Yesterday, I got lazy and decided to drive to the donut shop (5 blocks). I loaded up my 3 dogs into the Shooey-mobile, and off I went. Upon returning, I got pulled over right in front of my house--much to the chagrin of my neighbors. I knew the Shooey-mobile had a myriad of violations (the Lovely Mrs Shoehead's plates on it being one of them) but by the grace and favor of God (or luck, for my non-believing friends) the cop didn't impound my car! I got off with a "fix-it"! As I glanced over at my car, I could swear the dogs were in the car laughing at me!
So this morning I did go and register the car properly. *sigh* You can't fight the system. Well, you can, but you won't win!

My Twitter style is BFF!

My Result: B.F.F. on quiz: Learn Which Type of Twitter User You Are You are everyone's best friend! Everyone loves you because you are always ready to help: you Retweet at the drop of a hat. You are the life of the Twitter party! How the hell do you do that? Quiz School Take this quiz & get your result

Learn Which Type of Twitter User You Are » funny quizzes

Countdown to blast-off...

I'm trying to leave the nefarious Uncle Nemo's house by the 15th. It's getting close. I still don't have a place to go yet, but alot of people have been very kind and offering me temporary places to stay. If I didn't have my dogs, it would be so much easier. I'd walk the Earth, like Cain from "Kung Fu". But I love my dogs, so I must figure something out. Jehovah-Jirah (God is my provider)

Kent State 1970

I wanted to show recognition to the 40 anniversary of the Kent State incident. I had several ideas of where I wanted to go with my commentary—the relation to current events, the principles of government force against an unarmed populace, the climate of societal division on the American landscape, the consequences of rioting on a college campus—I thought about every angle I could examine this. Instead, I decided to just mark the tragic occasion without commentary.

I love my country. I pray for, and worry about America every day. We as a people, as a nation, have seen difficult and tearful times. Undoubtedly, we will see more. But we are also a resilient people, and we survive Kent States, and 9/11s, and whatever else tests our nation’s resolve. God bless and protect this great nation, and let not those four Kent State students be forgotten.

Allison Krause (April 23, 1951-May 4, 1970)


Jeffrey Glenn Miller (March 28, 1950-May 4, 1970)


Sandy Scheuer (August 11, 1949-May 4 1970)


William Knox Scroeder (July 20, 1950-May 4, 1970)

Packing up Camp Shoehead

Since I got notice that the Nefarious Uncle Nemo sold the house, and I have a limited time to vacate, I’ve begun the process of cleaning, throwing out, and packing up the clothes, books, papers, and belongings that make up a part of who I am. It’s been particularly painful for me, since I’m constantly reminded of my early days with the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead; finding pictures and other mementos from our happier times. Add that to the stress of moving, as well as not really having any place to go, and it has been quite an experience these last couple of weeks.
I really do love my wife. It makes me sad that we have such massive incompatibilities that neither of us would be happy together. Moving out of this house is definitely the closing of a huge chapter in my life. At the onset of moving to Firebaugh, we were (or at least I was) planning to buy the house from Uncle Nemo, and live a nice, quiet small-town existence with Mrs. Shoehead and sundry pets. I would concentrate on my writing, finish and produce my screenplays, and a few times a year travel to L.A. or other locations to work on film projects. But it was not to be so. The fates had a different plan for the Family Shoehead.
I’m leaving behind the graves of two beloved cats, Starva and Vanilla Bean (“Beansie”). I never even got around to construct the little heart-shaped grave markers I planned to place over them. Maybe it’s just as well—they sleep peacefully under two little piles of rocks.
Though this process is very painful, I also see a bright side to it as well. I liken it to childbirth—intense pain, followed by a joy; a new beginning. A new life.
Firebaugh—while a quaint little town that I really did try to adapt to—was never really a comfortable fit for me. It lacked certain amenities, and conveniences that I prefer to have in my life. My only comfort was taken in this house—Casa Shoehead. It at first provided me with a secure refuge, but over time it slowly became a prison for me. When I worked at C.C.W.F., I literally left one prison, and came home to another. Now it’s been just about a year since the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead left me; sometime in mid-May 2009. The 5-bedroom house filled with reminders of her and us fill me with such a loneliness that even my three precious dogs and two sweet little cats can’t quite ameliorate. Packing up Camp Shoehead and leaving Firebaugh and Uncle Nemo’s is going to be a good move for me, however painful the actual move turns out to be.
As the chapter ends, a new one unfolds…

And... OUT HE GOES!!!

I just got the word yeasterday from my landlord, the nefarious Uncle Nemo, that the house is going to be sold and I have to leave, like in 30 days. I have no idea where on earth I'm gonna go. Pray for me, readers! :-O

A mini-tribute to Jim Croce

Yesterday, as I was resting at Camp Shoehead (with electricity), my oldies station happened to play "Operator (That's Not the way it Feels)" by Jim Croce. I was actually moved by the song, and I reflected upon what an amazing piece of musical work it is. Not only does it have a catchy melody, but the songwriting is brilliant! Mr. Croce conveys love, pain, and betrayal--giving us a complete story all in a man's attempt to get directory assistance. His thanking of the operator, and offering her to "keep the dime" demonstrates a pure and giving heart. Simply a beautiful, near-perfect example of good songwriting, story telling, and musicianship in under 3 minutes.
Like major events marking people's lives, I happened to remember where I was when I heard the radio report of his death. I was driving with my family late at to a Revolutionary War re-enactment (being the Bicentennial era, and all!). It was late friday night, September 20 1973, and we were in our family's Griswold-style station wagon drving through Pennsylvania to get to the gig, possible Valley Forge, or the Daniel Boone homestead. Further radio reports speculated that Jim Croce's pilot might've had a heart attack, but the small plane took off and failed to clear a tree at the end of the runway. All aboard were killed, Croce and his long-time guitar accompanyist, Maury Meuhleisen, as well as several others.
Jim Croce's death ended a short, but brilliant career. Who knows where his career might've taken him, but his short time as a recording artist gave us some of the most beautiful and poetic music ever.

They're changing the rules of Scrabble???

I can't believe it. Is nothing sacred? The makers of Scrabble™ are changing the rules for the first time. They'll now allow proper names, backwards words, and non-connecting words! What's next, make up your own imaginary words?
I believe this will go over kinda like "New Coke" did in the 1980's. People will reject it, and then "Classic Scrabble" will come out, and the new configuration will quietly away. I hope...

A quick blog...

Just a quick hello to my legion of readers... I'll have a pretty good post this Saturday; I've been working on one.
Have a great day, friends!

Some more thoughts on secession...

I've really been thinking hard about my idea the last few days. It breaks my heart that we've come to this. as a kid, I was learning about the Civil War, and thought it absurd that the United States would actually split up. But now, we're in the midst of another civil war--not a violent one so far, (I pray it doesn't become one), but a war nonetheless between two highly polarized and incompatable sides--those that believe in freedom and personal responsibility; and those that believe in a huge governmental apparatus that runs everything in a person's life, providing anything they need and seemingly can't afford. These two positions ultimately cannot coexist. Government left unchecked by responsible public servants and an involved populace will seek to expand and engulf, until the entire population is subjugated.

So my idea, which I thought might appeal to the liberals--who are always concerned with "fairness"-- was to give 25 states to the liberals, and 25 states to the conservatives and freedom-lovers. I think that's a great idea, and it really does seem "fair". That way, both sides can have the kind of country they desire. I mentioned this to the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead, who-- alas--is as liberal as the night is long, and she would have no part of it, instead using my idea to bash Sarah Palin. Huh? Upon reflection, the liberals seem to not only want their own panacea, but they want everyone else to be subject to it as well. Hmmmm...

Anyway, I think my idea is great. 25 and 25 to each faction. The free states, would retain the title "United States of America", and the socialist states could rename theirs, "Obamaland"! I think that would be an amazing tribute to the historic young president. They could even have their own form of government that could let him be president-for-life! Maybe the capitol of their nation could be called "Pelosiville" or "Pelositown". Or hell, let's give all the accolades to this new founding father, and call it "Obama City". If they really wanna get down to it, the can start divvying up the states to all their different interest groups--the Blacks can have their own state; the gay, lesbian, & transgender community can have their own state; Latinos, the same, etc... I don't know, I really don't look at people as members of groups, I look at people as individuals. But I know that would indeed appeal to some people on the left, that's for sure. Their new nation would be theirs to do whatever they please with it. I dunno, these are just some suggestions. I really don't care what they do over there. I'll be living on the free side of the country, where the U.S. constitution will still be the law of the land.

About the bill... an answer to @MsErica187

@MsErica187 is a model and club promoter from Orlando, Florida. She's one of my coolest Twitter friends, and a very interesting person (as well as a hottie!). Monday morning I made a statement on Twitter that basically stated that anyone who thinks this healthcare bill is a good thing doesn't know shit about economics, or freedom. Erica very politely asked me for an explanation of my view, and I promised her I'd post one up in my blog; being limited by Twitter to only 140 characters. I'll try to give my best answer as succinctly as possible, but if I don't finish today, I'll definitely wrap it up tomorrow. My opposition to this bill, especially the way it got passed in the house is so strong, and for so many reasons, I really don't know where to begin.

First of all, I don't like politics at all, and I really try to avoid bringing politics into this blog. I'd rather blog about American Idol, crazy reality shows, the weather, how boring it is in Firebaugh, my pets, anything, but politics. Unfortunately, with the current administration, and the media, and the general social climate in our awesome nation today, politics is getting shoved in my face. That being said, let me address the lovely Ms. Erica's question to me.

Erica, I'll cut to the heart of what my statement was about. You told me that you're not ignorant, and I'm not saying you are at all. I said that supporters of this bill don't know anything about economics, and I stand by that statement. Economics are not being taught in schools, and in college, Keynesian economics--which is a proven fallacy--is basically taught as a universal truth. Though the Democrats told you this bill is going to reduce the costs of healthcare, it is just impossible to give things away for free and expect costs to go down. Having the government pay for the medical treatments of everyone living in the United States (whether they're citizens or not) is simply economically unsound. The government is basically broke anyway, but now they plan to provide healthcare coverage for everybody. I hear people often say, "The government's paying for it..." but keep in mind, the government only gets its money from taking money from working Americans. A more accurate statement would be "My neighbors are paying for it..." To sum it up, this new medical plan is goiong to be so expensive, the government's not going to be able to pay for it. Taxes will go up, which will force the economy down (killing jobs), and the actual medical treatments will have to be rationed or denied altogether. The people who are in favor of this bill, some of whom were quoted as claiming that it's now like Christmas, don't seem to understand that there will be a huge price to pay.
That brings me to the freedom aspect. With the passage of this bill, the government is now in charge of your health care! Politicians and bureaucrats will now make medical decisions for you, solely based on cost, and if you're valued as a taxpayer! The terminal and the elderly, who are not seen as productive (taxpaying) members of society will be denied treatments, and possibly euthanized. Plus, the very nature of the government forcing every American to but health insurance, is unconstitutional.

Listen, I could go on all day. I'm still not even satisfied with this blog post answer to you, but I hope you realize that it's not out of hate that I'm passionately opposed to this new law. I love my country, and I believe in freedom for all individuals. This bill was unnecessary--70-75% of the American people were happy with their health coverage, and the uninsured were supposed to be covered by Medicare and Medicaid. PLUS, the way it was passed, with in-your-face bribery and corruption of congessmen, backroom deals and exempting people was absolutely disgusting. If the bill was so good, why do you have to exempt people to get it passed?
Anyway, I love people, and I love freedom, and in the end I believe Americans will do the right thing. Thanks for taking the time, Erica, as well as anyone who reads this...

A call for secession...

As I've blogged before, I really loathe politics, and I try and refrain from making this a political blog, but yesterday's passing of the illegal, unconstitutional, and destructive healthcare bill by a bunch of radicals has me really rattled. The glee that those people and their ignorant "something-for-nothing" followers over cramming a bill down our throats that advents the destruction of our great nation is so sickening, that I think I need healthcare now...
In the spirit of "let's-all-get-along", and "kumba ya", I think I've come up with a solution to make everybody happy. Since the country is divided anyway, let's split the country in half-- 25 states for the liberals to screw up as they please, and 25 states for the people who value life, liberty, and prosperity. The free states would go back to the U.S. Constitution as the law of the land. The socialist utopian half, well... who the f**k cares...?! They will have free healthcare, and free whatever else those people want, and leave the rest of us alone. Unfortunately, they will need us, especially our money. Hmmm... It's a thought.
I'm not even advocating a violent seperation, like in the 1860s. I just mean a peaceful divorce; kinda like the Czech republic and Slovakia underwent in the 1990s. No animosity, no hard feelings... Just a liberal paradise in one new country, and freedom and opportunity in the other. That way, we can all have the country and government we want! I think it's a wonderful idea!
As for me, I borrowed this slogan from the liberals: "Obama, keep your laws off my body!"

Camp Shoehead is in full effect!

The training camp set-up is a winner! I'll post up some pics later!