Last Blog of the Decade!

Hey there, my awesome readers! I bet you thought I'd drop the ball on this one. For the past week I've been on the East Coast hanging out with my family in Richmond VA, making a quick run to Hoboken NJ for my cousin's wedding. I've been putting a lot of thought into this blog, and as I sit and watch the clock tick away the last minutes of 2009, and the first decade of the new millennium, I come to the point where it's time to blog... Blog, man, blog!
This decade has been a decade of change for me and my life. It was a milestone of a new era in the life and times of Shoehead. I began this millennium in South Beach Miami FL, trying to hawk Jello™ shots with my brother. It was complete washout, and then his car broke down in the Florida panhandle on our way to New Orleans. We ended up abandoning ship on an off-ramp in the middle of nowhere. My mother wired us the money for a Greyhound back to Richmond VA (I was living in Weehawken NJ at the time), and I remember thinking, this millennium is off to quite a start! I hung with my parents for a few days, and boarded the bus back to NJ. After the odyssey that was my Y2K trip, I arrived in my apartment, and literally had just set down my suitcases, when my cousin Chris knocked on the door and wanted to go out for drinks! So we went into Hoboken, and got jumped by five guys after we left the bar, leaving me with a swollen face and two shiners! Again, this decade is off to a crazy start...
A few weeks later, my brother the Jello™-Man called me and discussed giving full-time Jello™ shot hawking one more attempt. He instructed me to find the summer concert tours of Phish, Dave Matthews Band, and Jimmy Buffett and we would rent a van to gypsy around and sell the shooters at the shows. Buffett had a spring leg of his tour in the western states, so we hatched a plot to travel west, use our buddy Vince's place in Vegas as a home base, and make loads of money at the concerts. So in April, we embarked on our journey. Everything went as we planned it, except for one thing we hadn't anticipated--Jimmy Buffett fans are tailgate partyers. They're not a bunch of Grateful Dead hippies. They all brought their own libations, and couldn't even believe we were trying to sell Jello™ shots. We ended up scrapping Buffett, but we decided to try a Nascar™ event at the Las Vegas Speedway. That was actually very amusing, as we snuck into the event without tickets, and sold shooters like crazy; finally culminating in Jason getting chased through the stands by purple-shirted security guards as the Nascar™ fans cheered him on...
What this Jello™ trip did for me was open me up to the western United States. Before this, I'd never been further west than Colorado. But on our ill-fated trek, I'd within the span of a week visited for the first time Vegas, Los Angeles, and San Jose, not to mention seeing the Grand Canyon, and driving through Utah and Arizona and New Mexico! As I looked at life in Vegas, and how sunny, warm and nice it was to live there, I decide to simply stay there. Jason and I went back to my Weehawken apartment, packed up most of my stuff, and vacated my apartment within 24 hours. I stayed in Richmond for about five days at my parents to get things ready, and moved to Las Vegas May 3rd, 2000 with three suitcases on a Greyhound bus.
Life in Vegas was crazy. I got a job at Harrah's almost instantly, but the job sucked so I got another job at Rumjungle in Mandalay Bay. That was a blast! The management really didn't like your ol' pal Shoehead too much, however, so in July 2001, they fired me, and I headed to Redondo Beach to see the one friend I had in L.A. at the time.
I'm running outta time to post this blog, so here's the breakdown:
2001- I was living in Redondo Beach, and terrorists blew up my beloved World Trade Center.
2002- I fell in with some marijuana smugglers, and got arrested in Omaha NE driving weed to Chicago. The charges were dropped, thanks to an awesome lawyer! By this time I'd moved to El Segundo, with a cool roommate named Joe, and his dog, Duffy.
2003- Still smuggling (to work off my lawyer bill) I went to Mexico for the first time, and was travelling to Spokane WA a lot. We started hiking the weed across the U.S.-Canadian border ourselves, and toward the end of the year we were rolling in cash. Yay! BUT- in December my brother got arrested by Border Patrol Agents hiking through the snowy wilderness of the border. No yay...
2004- By this time I was dating the girl of my dreams who was later to become the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead. I worked on a lot of film crews, including my friends at Hemisphere Entertainment, and began really doing what I came to California to do.
2005- By this time I'd moved to Oxnard with my girlfriend (you-know-who) and was working as a shipping clerk for a printing and graphics company. Ho-hum... In August, my brother-in-law was killed by a drunk driver, and Baba and I decided to get married in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. I got married, and turned 40 the same week!
2006- Still living in Oxnard, worked on The Apprentice Season -6 and several other smaller things.
2007- Went back to work as a truck driver for the same printing company, but got fired for wrecking the truck. Damn... Relocated from Oxnard to Firebaugh, CA in November.
2008- I worked on Seasons 2 and 3 of Co-ed Confidential and started working at Central California Womens Facility, as a substance abuse counselor (C-YARD!!!) which brings us to...
2009- I got laid off after they shut down C-Yard's program on October 19th. As a coincidence, the B-Yard program ended today, with a lot of my colleagues now out of work too. I chilled, soul-searched, and that brings me to here and now--visiting my family, and attending my cousin's wedding, typing out this last blog of the decade.
So you could basically say, that I'm still on the Jello™ tour. After a decade of changes and giant landmarks in my life, I look to a new decade and the next phase of my life with both optimism and uncertainty.
Happy New Year, my most awesome readers!

Merry Christmas!

I'm having a pretty good time in Richmond with my family, but I'm a little sad, cuz this is the first Christmas spent without my wife, the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead. Tomorrow, we leave to go to Hoboken NJ to attend my cousin's wedding.
Merry Christmas, everyone! I'll blog later...

I made it to Richmond!

Yay! Richmond... the capitol of the Confederacy, the capitol of the Old Dominion, the capitol of sitting on a Robinson Street bar stool getting drunk! My folks picked me up from the airport last night--actually it was my father and my brother, actor Jay Fontaine--and drove me back to my parents retirement condo in the fashionable West End of Richmond. I was still on West Coast time last night so I stayed up almost all night tweeting! Yee-HA! Then I woke up and went to Trader Joes with my father. I knew that when Richmond got a TJ's, it would be some kind of milestone, like when "Two-buck Chuck" went up to $3.25... as I took a tour of West Broad Street from Gaskins Road to Short Pump, I noticed that the chains had all landed--Dave-N-Buster's, Home Depot, Michael's, big box stores, and small national chains like Omaha Steaks; Petco, and then your restaurant chains--P.F. Chang's, Appleby's, Chili's, etc... When I left, some 13 years ago, this was all woodlands and cow pastures. Short Pump was a crossroads from colonial times that had an actual short-handled water pump at a long-vanished inn. Now, the place is unrecognizable from any other suburban landscape in the United States. If I didn't know better, I could be on Shaw Avenue in Fresno, or in Paramus NJ, or northern Virginia (Alexandria, Fairfax--take your pick). It was a weird feeling of familiarity, but difference. Well, I got 2 weeks of this to digest. I think I'm gonna go down to see my old guitarist Scott, and work on some tracks for the long-awaited (15 years) Just Because album! And sit on a Robinson Street barstool and get drunk!

Kinda having a rough week...

OK, I think I've officially written 2009 off. I'm just gonna hunker down, and let 2010 be my year. It's just been crazy around here. I'll go to Richmond, then my cousin's wedding in Hoboken, then let 2010 roll!

A short history of cats at Casa Shoehead

With the tragic loss of Vanilla Bean "Beansie" this week, I wanted to include a short history of my cats in recent years.
It started in 2003, when I first met the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead. She had one cat, Starva Wazzoo Kitty. After we got married, we saw a tiny kitten in a cage at our vet's, with a sign that stated "My name's Missy Cleopatra. I was found in a pillowcase in a dumpster. Could you please take me home?" So we did. That was around June of 2006. She and Starva didn't get along with each other at all, but we did keep them separate. Soon after, around August of 2006 or maybe a little later, a couple of alley cats started hanging around our little courtyard. One we called Asparagus, or just "Gus", the other had a crazy broken tail, and we called him "Cat-tail". Gussie sorta went away, but cat-tail always faithfully came around to our front door looking for food. Then, when we ended up moving to Firebaugh, we couldn't bear to leave cat-tail behind to face the dangers of--who knows what--so we loaded him up and drove him north.
Shortly after arriving at our new home, The Lovely Mrs. Shoehead noticed a little runt cat at her auntie's house that nobody wanted. he was a little grey tiger-stripe, and we took him home and called him Buster Brown. He never really felt at home, and was kind of a loner, although Cat-tail looked after him like a little brother. Eventually, Buster moved out of the house into the back garage. So we were a happy little family of 4 cats until July or August of 2008, when I looked out and saw a tiny orange kitten on my back porch. He was so malnourished and sickly, we took him in and named him Vanilla Bean Kittybone Catva, or Beans. He was a rebel much like Buster, and was always trying to escape, but finally he settled in to life in the house. Buster never really adapted, and stayed out in the back garage for months. I kept feeding him, but I went out of town for several days in April 2009, and when I got back, Buster wasn't around. I believe he moved on to another location. All went seemingly fine, when in October, I came home to find Starva dead! It was very traumatic for me. I buried her in a little rock garden in our yard. After that, the remaining three cats sorta bonded and hung out together. They were very cute, the three of them laying down sleeping all in the same direction on top of the dryer! This kept up until this week, when I found poor little Beansie dead and wet in the front yard. Now I'm down to 2 cats! I really do miss a house full of cats. I hope some needy cat finds us...

Vanilla Bean Kittybone Catva July 2008-December 12 2009

Vanilla Bean Kittybone Catva, the orange cat


Yesterday was another sucky day for me. For the second time in six weeks, I had to bury one of my dear, beloved cats. As I walked to my neighbor’s house yesterday at around 2pm, I glanced over into my front yard, and saw the body of “Li’l Bean” curled up amongst the wet leaves. I walked over and picked up his stiff little body, and gave a quick examination. Preliminary examination showed no sign of foul play; this exonerates (for the moment) all the dogs, including visiting Pit-bull mix Chloe, as well as my creepy neighbor who kills cats and shoots blue jays from his back porch. While we are awaiting autopsy results for an official cause of death, it appears that “Beansie” expired naturally, probably from the cold and wetness of this week’s rainstorm. He’d had some kind of eye infection that the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead and I were trying to treat with antibiotic eye drops, so maybe he was just in a weakened state and succumbed to the elements.
For the past several days, I hadn’t seen Beansie around, and yesterday was the day I decided I was doing a thorough search. The discovery of his little water-soaked body was a disappointing end. Since the arrival of Chloe this past week, Beans, and the other remaining cats—Missy Cleopatra and Cat-tail—have been scared of this new dog, and staying away from their former safe-zone on top of the washer & dryer. In fact, I hadn’t seen either of the cats since the discovery of Bean’s body yesterday afternoon, until Cat-tail showed up this morning in the house, looking for some food. Today, I’ll look for Missy. Fingers crossed…
Li’l Bean came into my life around late July-early August of last year. One morning, I looked out on my back porch, and there was this tiny kitten; starving and filthy. He fit in the palm of my hand. Mrs. Shoehead and I took him in, gave him love and brought him back to health. As he was growing, he went through a little phase when he was trying to leave the house. He’d hang out all day in the back garage, and try to jump the fence and go to a neighbor’s house (not the creepy cat-killing sadist, the neighbor on the other side). Recently, Beansie returned to the house, and was hanging out with Missy and Cat-tail; particularly after the death of Starva. The three little kitties would curl up together on the washing machine and hang out together. I loved that! I took some pictures, that I’ll post very soon. With the arrival of Chloe, however, the little cat clique has been staying out of the house. And then, yesterday, Li’l Bean was discovered dead in the yard. Like Starva, I had a little funeral for him. I wrapped him in an old towel with his full name and a note that said what a good cat he was, and how much he’ll be missed, I also added a cat toy for him in the eternity. I said a prayer to God thanking Him for letting us have all the joy from Beans for a year, and then he was buried.
I think the storm is over now. The sun seems to be creeping up, as day breaks while I write this blog. It’s a new day, and I’m gonna miss my little friend. Good night, Beansie… You were an great little cat.

116 days of Camp Shoehead! Was I going green? You betcha!

I was actually green with envy at my neighbors who were enjoying TV, computers, reading at night, and warmth, as I sat by my nightly campfire on my porch. Due to some crazy financial dealings, and some indecision, as well as sheer treachery, Casa Shoehead was Camp Shoehead for 116 days, beginning July 31st as PG&E turned off the power. It was kinda fun at first (kinda), but after a while it just plain sucked. well last week, thanks to the diligent efforts of the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead, and a cool PG&E guy named Al (who left a really cool flashlight behind), we are now back at least to the 20th century, hoping to slip into the 21st century sometime soon. I'm still trying to break the "no-power" mindset as I rearrainge my habits back to a pre-Camp Shoehead routine. I'd forgotten the other night that I actually can read at night. Plus, I flipped on a switch only after automatically reaching for the flashlight.
But the biggest joy I got this week was The History Channel! And the other 500+ channels that I can now scan aimlessly! Yay! Now, I can actually re-connect with all my favorite shows! in fact, I'm just in time for the season finale of Sons of Anarchy. I watched it last night, and said to myself... "What the hell's going on?" But that's OK, I'll get back up to speed before S.A.M.C.R.O. really takes it to Henry Rollins and Adam Arkin! I've got my microwave popcorn all set!

Happy Birthday, MOM!

Today's my mother's birthday, and I'd be remiss if I didn't give it some kind of mention.
Also, we're working diligently to get the power turned back on, once again returning to "Casa Shoehead" from "Camp Shoehead". Camping at home can be fun, but it's a bitch during the winter months. We actually did do something somewhat cool the other day--the lovely Mrs. Shoehead wanted to take a hot bath, so we heated up water over the fire in potfuls and filled the bathtub with water, colonial-style! My good friend Hawkeye, who's a part-time mountain-man (or maybe he's a part-time 21st century man) was very proud of me, not to mention the least bit amused! But, through faith, prayer, money, and the mercy of PG&E (if any exists) Casa Shoehead should be lit back up with real electric lights, and gas to cook with, too!
I just reviewed some of my older blog entries from over the spring and summer, and I noticed that with the lack of television at Camp Shoehead, I haven't been able to deliver any of my cutting-edge, witty critique of reality shows an other TV pop-culture bonbons. Well, rest assured, my faithful readers, that my biting op-eds on our favorite media medium will soon burst forth once again!
So 'til next time, Happy Birthday, Mom! And to all a good night!

Sigh... I had to scratch "Co-ed 4"

After lots of deliberation, and much reluctance, I talked to the producers of "Co-ed Confidential 4" this morning and had to drop out of the project for personal reasons. I'll really miss the cast and crew, and I want to the thank the producers for being so understanding.

Outta Nowhere!

Irony of ironies... This past week, the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead returned to Camp Shoehead. She has a few health problems, and I plan to take care of her, but WOW! I went from getting prepared and adjusted to a single life again, and now she's back. Now, don't get me wrong--I'm happy, and Camp Shoehead is a lot less lonely. One of the most important things to me, those of you that know me personally, is the happiness of my pets, especially my dogs. They're overjoyed that Mommy's back! I know that seeing all of us together as a family once more fills their little hearts with such happiness! We've been having fun spending quality time together in front of a fire every night, and it's been great!
But what about me? Now my plans are changing once again. What will the future hold for your ol' pal Shoehead?

I can breathe again!

Was it the garlic? Or was it the crazy-smelling vapor-rub? All I know is, I'm about 95% at my optimum. I've been reading through not one, but two books on herbal remedies. I used to be into it in 1999 when I managed a GNC store. but over the years, and crossing the continent, I fell away from that whole "healthy lifestyle" thing. In California, no less! But I plan on getting my medical 420 card, and reading and learning more about herbal remedies and natural health cures. Especially if the Democrats take over health care! I'll become my own doctor, too!

Crunch time!

With my upcoming gig on "Co-ed", plus two weeks back in Virginia for the Holidays, I'll be away from Camp Shoehead for six weeks! It seems like I have about a million and one things to do.
My main concern as always is my dogs. My neighbor said he'd feed them every day, but I still hate leaving them all by themselves. The estranged Lovely Mrs. Shoehead told me that she'd be too busy to look after them. Hmm... do I board them? That would eat up all the money I'd make on the show. What to do, what to do...
My next concern is a place to stay. I've stayed with friends before from the crew, and I'm always absolutely appreciative (I am the consummate houseguest!) but none of my friends that I usually stay with are on this shoot! Now, I have slept in my car before--taking my showers in the gym, etc.-- but for six weeks???
Another thing is my ACN business. Now that I'm done with the prison gig, my ACN is starting to gain momentum. Then I just leave for six weeks? Hmmm...
Not to mention DMV stuff, some other bureaucratic crap I have to deal with, and just getting ready for a six week trip, I'm a little stressed out! Not my usual cucumber-cool Shoehead!
Oh well, it'll all work itself out.
here's something fun--I'm still fighting off a slight bout of bronchitis (at least I hope it is, and not the H1N1 swine flu!), so ever the holistic wannabe, I read in an herbal remedy book that a great cure for bronchitis is garlic. So, I've been chewing raw garlic cloves for the last four days! Nice, huh? I don't think I stink like garlic, but then again, I wouldn't notice it if I did! It was recommended that I chew sprigs of parsley to combat the garlic breath, which I have been doing... But doesn't that stuff go through your bloodstream and your pores? Yikes! The plus side is, there have been no vampire sightings at Camp Shoehead since I started this new regimen.
OK, readers... let's see what tomorrow brings in this crazy, stressed-out week!

Wow, I just hit 100 posts!

Actually, this is my 101st post... Who'da thunk it???
I've been very busy the past couple of weeks. I actually thought being unemployed would slow me down some, but I've been ROLLING! I just confirmed a spot on the crew of "Co-ed Confidential Season 4" and I'll get to work with my buddies Kevin Patrick, Bradley Joseph, and the always awesome Michelle Maylene.
It's gonna be a trip. Otherwise, still no power at Camp Shoehead. I'm trying to have it fully electrical by 2010! OK, til next time my amazing readers!

I'm loving the new schedule...

Since they laid me off from the prison, and shut down C-Yard's program, I'm really enjoying not having to drive there every day, and listen to a bunch of crap from a bunch of unqualified losers. But I do miss the inmates, they were the only good thing about the job!
My favorite thing right now is the total stress-free existance that I'm experiencing. I've been running 90 minutes four times a week. I plan to run the L.A. marathon, and the N.Y.C. marathon next year. I wake up whenever I want to, but usually it's been at 6am. But that's OK, too... It's my choice!
Now, I face a major decision of the day... what will I eat lunch?
See ya tomorrow, good readers!

Happy Halloween!

I'm one of those people who don't really put a whole lot of effort into my halloween costume, and basically throw something together last-minute every year. I think tonight I'll wear my bathrobe and go as Vincent "The Chin" Gigante. The problem is, I don't think anyone will know who that is here in Fresno! That's kind of a New Yorker's costume...

Starva Wazzoo Kitty (ca. 1995-2009)

Yesterday was quite a traumatic day for me, good readers. As I returned from the library, where I blog, tweet, and network, I walked in to my house to see our oldest cat, Starva, laying half-on/half-off the dog bed in the living room. I called out, "Hi, Starva!", as I realized that something didn't look quite right. She'd never taken a position like that before, and her fur looked kinda matted, and it didn't look like she was even breathing... I felt her, and she was dead.
I immediately called my estranged wife, the Lovely Mrs. Shoehead, to give her the awful news. She's had Starva since the mid 90's; this little kitty was always there as long as I'd known my wife. She was devastated.
I let one of our other cats, Missy Cleopatra, who's known Starva for three years and had gotten as close to friends as starva would allow (she was a pretty aloof cat), and Missy looked curiously, and sniffed around . It looked like Missy was trying to feel for Starva's breath. There seemed to be a moment of understanding, as Missy slowly walked away.
There was no other choice, being the animal lover that I am, and absolutely devoted to my pets, but to bury her, and conduct somewhat of a funeral. I dug the grave (boy am I outta shape!), I wrapped her in a towel, and I enclosed a paper containing her full name, and a note that I appreciated having her in my life, and that her mommy loved her, and missed her a lot. I also placed two cat toys with her to play with in the great beyond. then, I finished with a prayer thanking God for the joy Starva gave us, and protection over my other pets, and she was buried. I tried to give her as much reverence and love as I could.
A combination of the exertion of digging a grave and the trauma and stress of finding her body and loss of a treasured pet left me drained. I slept all afternoon! I thought about feeding her, and listening to her meows, and I felt sad. The house seems a little bit emptier now.
One of the things that struck me about the whole incident is when I carried her little towel-wrapped body over to the gravesite. I cradled her head and tried to be as loving as I could. Her little face didn't quite look peaceful, but looked a bit in pain. There was some blood and tufts of fur laying about, but there was no mutilation. I don't think the dog actually killed the cat per se, I believe it was just a dog/cat fight--one of many--but her 14 year-old heart just couldn't take it.
So good-bye, Starva... you were an awesome little cat, and thanks for all the joy you've brought us over the years.
(The irony of this picture is that she's pictured on the dog bed that I her body on...)

Changes, changes...

So I'm finally a statistic. My crappy prison job ended last week, and I'm officially on the unemployment rolls. Actully, I couldn't be happier... I'm still camping out at camp Shoehead, but it should get better soon. I'll make a point of blogging more. I know I've said that before, but I can't tell you how that job really sucked the life outta me. I remember not too long ago when this blog actually had readers! That's OK, I'll blog it up and get my readership back. It feels like I've been paroled myself! I'm still adjusting to not being in C-yard. it was somewhat bittersweet; I really was fond of all of my clients. There were some wonderful women in there, with talent, heart and a real desire to make positive changes in their lives. I'll miss those ladies a lot.
meanwhile, now I have time to catch up on the things I really love to do. Blog, write screenplays, work on my ACN business, and whatever else I feel like doing...
It's the dawn of a new day for your ol' pal Shoehead!!!
(Yawn... Time for a nap!)

This is an interesting day...

Exactly one year ago (man, this was a fast freakin' year!) I made a mistake that cost me a lot out of my life. A year ago I was in Miami, shooting season 3 of "Co-ed Confidential", and really having a great time. I was with my friends, making money and having a blast, and it was really a great experience. I won't go into details just yet, but this day in particular is kinda reflective to me...
I understand "Co-ed 4" is getting ready to shoot soon. I should give them a call, especuially since I have like 25 days left of the prison job!

44 years old...

Wow, it's my birthday again. Last year at this time I was in Miami, on day one of "Co-ed Confidential Season 3" shoot. This year has gone by so quick, it's scary. I'll try and get to blogging again, too. i miss it, and I miss my cool readers. I'm probably moving back to L.A. within the next fewmonths. The Lovely Mrs. Shoehead has left me, and I don't think she's coming back. The idea of dating again seems so crazy, and even a little stressful. BUT--I got a nice new haircut to start me off just right. OK, the uploader is not behaving, so you have to go to my Facebook profile to see the new look! I basically had a "Britney Spears moment". And shaved my head!
Yay!
Until next time, my awesome readers!

I haven't posted in a while...

Sorry readers! I went back to prison... (my prison counselor job, that is!) But I am trying to get a little more diligent about my blogging. Soon, I'll actually have the internet back in my house. Yay! And a few moere changes little by little in my life.
Quick shout out to my cousin Chris Meyers, who is celebrating his birthday today. Happy Day, Chris!
OK, I'm getting back into the swing of things, readers, so bear with me, and thanks for sticking it out.
Aloha!